Hohenschwangau - Schloss Neuschwanstein around 1890

What a beautiful place to build a castle, it looks just like a postcard that your aunt would send you, doesn’t it? You can almost smell the forest and river. Hmm, I’ll bet that road is a trial to get up in the winter time, especially after a couple of snows and freezes, don’t you think? Speaking of winter, I wonder how much it costs to heat that pile? I’ll bet it’s drafty and leaks heat like a bastard. You couldn’t heat it with wood, you’d cut down the forest and still freeze your arse off. You’d have to heat it like a skyscraper, with steam and a boiler in the basement. Or dungeon, whichever. You’d still need a bloody coal mine to stoke the thing. Hmmm.

All those round turrets and towers, how do you fit furniture, which is all basically box-shaped, into round rooms? Wouldn’t that waste a tremendous amount of space? I guess it would depend on how you arranged it. And how would you hang flat pictures on the concave walls? Long nails hammered into the stone walls? What a pain in the ass…eh?

Huh? What? Oh, right.

And now…

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