Ladies and gentlemen, the future is here. All of those crying and moaning about the problems we’ll face tomorrow can kindly move to the back of the room. Here, I’ll give you a second to cease your whining about pollution, war, the recession, overpopulation, climate change, and Bristol Palin’s upcoming memoir. Screw that noise! Because mine eyes hath basked in the warming glow of this Brave New World, and the warming glow emanates from a vending machine that just baked me a fresh pizza, in three minutes.
Who the hell wants a flying car, anyway?