Aside from the radio, I don’t even know where to start.
The greatest spectacles in sports and competition have the most talented people doing the most extraordinary things. Part of the delight is relating back to games we played as children. We know the goals, but professional players show us what we didn’t know was possible. 
When Portal was released to great fanfare, I was skeptical. I expected the game to crash when two portals created infinite hall-of-mirrors views of a single character. But the trailer showed the ability to chase yourself in a 90-degree loop. The programmers managed to express space that exists only once, but can be accessed endlessly and seamlessly.
Games give the narcissistic sense that (a.) the world is created especially for you, (b.) the world is specifically out to get you, and (c.) most importantly, completing one step leads to the next thing automatically. Things work the in the simplified way we expect them to. It feels like exploring a world, even though it’s linear. Walk don’t run, relax, stop and look around, enjoy the scenery.
Then I get stuck yelling WHAT DOES IT WANT? I needed to consult a walkthrough three times. One: There’s a surface you don’t know about. Two: The thing you just did? You have to do it all over again. Three: Weak on judging where to land, much less double loops.
It was interesting playing through the single and co-op modes of Portal 2 with my sister.  One of us would be completely baffled, while the other had a visible lightbulb moment. ‘Oh, I got it, all it takes is…*flicker*… I gotta go do something.’ And we would alternate almost level by level. I died repeatedly, but, compliments to the level designers, we did not get stuck. Not even when we concluded that the solution to one puzzle was a flying midair catch of a catapulted cube. 
I cannot match the speed, consistency, and precise timing of skilled players. I am horrible at running and jumping (in video games). I am weak on firing shots from mid-air (in any situation, ball sport or otherwise).
I am here because I was told there would be cake.
 I was shocked when I learned that dunking is rare in women’s basketball. A friend who played college ball confirmed this. Even more shocking is no one seems to know why. Yes, there are characteristic differences in physical strength, and yes the average vertical leap is significantly higher for men, but I would expect the serious female athletes who compete past high school to demolish the ‘average’ male. They are already outliers, just like Olympian high jumpers, where the gap between the top men and the top women strikes me as smaller than the gap to ‘average’.
 The serious gamer in the family.
 My sister said it looked hilarious when I finally grabbed it on the 5th or 6th try. Much later we learned you can make the level bring the cube to you instead.
Portal Done Glitchless in 14:42, via FnzzyGoesFast. You don’t know a program until you can make it do something it’s not supposed to.
You Are Here, via Half-Life Wikia