User Input

User Input: Horrible Excess


It’s that time of year again, and the Christmas and miscellaneous-other-holiday decorations are springing up everywhere like sick children in flu season. Now, this is not the bah-humbug post you might expect it to be, because I actually love the holidays.  People keep trying to make it a religious festival, and that bothers me a bit, but other than that, I think it’s a wonderful time of year.

The problem I have with holiday decorations is the simple fact that they’re getting tackier each year. And my personal choice for the worst offender is the new batch of giant inflatable decorations that are springing up everywhere.

These things are awful. They look terrible, they’re cheap, and they are the epitome of “I don’t actually care enough to decorate for the holidays, but here’s some tacky shit for my front yard.” As far as I’m concerned, you either put in some effort, or you don’t bother. Either option is just fine, but pick a side of the fence and commit to it.

Going on the assumption that it’s not all horrible, what’s the holiday decorating trend that just frosts your Christmas cookies?

  • Wreaths and bows on cars, especially the ones that seem to hang around until March or so.

    • FuzzyPlushroom

      This goes for the popular antlers/red nose combination as well – arguably more so; think of the poor window seals.

      • cruisintime

        Save the Window Seals ! !

      • All right, then. This year I'll put them on my bicycle instead of my pickup truck, okay?

  • skitter

    Anything that doesn't back the #^@% up off my Thanksgiving.

  • betterwrappedinbacon


    That is all.

  • ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

    Umm… I put out two inflatable things, where did I leave that cone of shame?

    The one that bugs me slightly are the ones that play music, fortunately I live far enough away from all the houses that do that to not hear it near where I sleep. Oh, and people that decorate before Thanksgiving, or keep it up past New Year's day, that bugs me a bit too.

  • Number_Six

    Back in the seventies, the family of Six came upon some difficult times and our Christmas tree was a thorn bush with some crepe paper flung over it. We pretty much got cans of condensed milk as presents and it was wonderful – our favourite holiday memories still today. I know nothing of what trends are out there because I just don't want to know, but if there were a trend towards honest simplicity, then I'd back that one.

    • Vairship

      You are the new Pope, aren't you? 😉

  • SSurfer321

    I have an extreme dislike for the inflatable yard ornaments, and I fear my In-Laws are trying to woo the Mrs. to the dark side. Last year they gifted us a lighted christmas pig that the Mrs. insists I install on the roof in an effort to prevent theft.

    <img src=""&gt;

    • You must add some blue and a spider emblem to the pig's outfit and blast this from the rooftop![youtube 1R828rFd2aI youtube]

    • Can you fill it with Helium, tie it to the roof and blare Pink Floyd over the PA? That would be worthwhile.

      • Vairship

        Or simply fill it with Helium and set it free. Flying pigs for everyone!

  • Renchick

    I always get irked when people set whole strands of lights to blink. Especially if the blinking is rapid enough to be seizure-inducing.

  • Slow_Joe_Crow

    The "Chanukah Bush", really stokes my ire. Actually the whole Chanukah as pseudo Christmas frosts me. It's a perfectly good minor festival with some fun customs (doughnuts and gambling) that should not be perverted into a Christian holiday analogue. It's not like we have Easter egg hunts for Passover, so why on earth should we put up a Teutonic pagan symbol for the Feast of Lights?

  • cruisintime

    The trend towards removing Christ from Christmas . Do not display your religion or the ACLU will sue.
    Festivus for the rest of us!!!

    • Vairship

      The trend towards trying to insert Christ into Saturnalia, by those newfangled Christians! ;^)

  • Felis_Concolor

    "Oh. Oh dear . . . "

    (removes ring from finger, hands it back)

    "You never told me you were from a blinking lights family."

    • We were going to get a new artificial tree this year. We had a small debate on clear lights vs. colored lights on the tree. Some of the new LED models allow you to switch with just the flip of a switch. But my parents gave us a tree for free with clear lights. Free settled the debate.

      • Artificial trees are my bane, having grown up with the real thing each year. Unfortunately, my wife is allergic to evergreens.

  • sawermassey

    This, this drives me to new levels of frustration. Not only do I dislike the terrible song, but the lights in synchronicity is beyond my comprehension level!
    [youtube ck0JCaMt4tA youtube]

  • Blues

    We solved the blinking issue. None allowed

    We solved the color choice and bulb size issues too.

    3 full size trees and 2 smallish ones outside the door.

    We are very practical.

  • People who complain about tacky Christmas decor – ;-). We've decided to pare down 20 years' worth of decorations, most of which never get used, after this season. In the meantime, they're all up on the house in a gaudy explosion of color. Seriously, it looks like Walt Disney threw up. Why'd we do it? Youngest child thinks it's "pretty". When it comes down to it, hers is the only opinion that matters.

    • Blues

      An excellent attitude

      Let the kids have fun

  • Metric Wrench

    Every year, we sneak over and move the neighbor's plywood reindeer into a variety of combative and/or sexually suggestive positions.

    • Blues

      An excellent idea

      Let the adults have fun