Shutdown: Three Drawer Woodpile


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I blundered across this rather whimsical piece of furniture made by Mark Moskovitz, and I was assaulted by several impressions all at once. The strongest was “Good lord! Look at all of that end grain that he had to deal with!”. For a woodworker, dealing with the end grain on wood is always a pain. It wants to tear rather than cut cleanly, even with very sharp tools, and can be very tricky to glue depending on the species of wood. It’s also a lot weaker than face grain so fasteners don’t hold as well. It’s just a big pain in the butt to work with generally, and to see something like the piece above, well, the guy who made it has a lot of patience.

The next thing that came to mind is splinters. Also, corners. Have you ever dealt with a woodpile? Would you want one in your bedroom? Every time you walked by the thing you would bang a limb on one of the thousands of sharp corners present, giving you bruises in weird places and probably splinters in weird places too. If your wife wears nylons and throws them everywhere when she removes them, she’s not going to be impressed with this thing after she flings a couple onto it and rips them to pieces pulling them off.

Good luck with setting anything on top of it, like pictures, change, cuff links or just jewelry in general. Not many level flat areas and lots of cracks and gaps to lose stuff in.

It is kind of cute and clever, but I wouldn’t want the damned thing in my house.

  • Felis_Concolor

    Having spent my formative years in Hawai'i, and most of those on Maui, I am all too familiar with what lurks in woodpiles. I'm surprised there aren't a few plastic centipedes attached to the interior sections of those drawers – although I don't think they're made in the island-appropriate foot long version.

    • The Professor

      That might be a regional thing. In southern Oregon the pieces in our woodpiles were around 18" – 2' long, not many centipedes (too cold and dry) but lots of wood beetles and their huge grubs. The beetles popped and stank like hell when you burned them.

      • I've lived in a few places where wood piles are attractive to rattlers and copperheads. Neat concept but, as you point out, far too impractical for my home even though it's decorated with the woodsy cabin/lodge motif. I don't think I'll show my wife this one.

    • B72

      Are the foot long versions as fast as house centipedes? If so, that's nightmare stuff.

      • Felis_Concolor

        They tend to move their full body length in around 3-4 seconds when they're not on the run and significantly faster than that when startled; I fortunately only saw them indoors twice at the Makawao house and we managed to dispatch them both quickly. My younger brother was fearless around them when he was younger; once at a garden party he yanked a pearl tipped pin out of some older lady's hair and used it to skewer one of the green/orange/purple monstrosities to a nearby coconut tree it was scaling.

        This may be why I tend to treat the 2-4" types with contempt when someone around me freaks out at the sight of them in CO.

  • I like it. I just wouldn't want to dust it. At least not without a good leaf blower.

    • We got a dusting of light, fluffy snow last weekend. Right after it finished snowing I took the dog for her walk and we passed a guy using a leaf blower to blow the snow off his driveway and sidewalk. I told him he is a genius.

      • OA5599

        Wouldn't a genius choose to live someplace without snow, so he could save his leaf blower for use as a skateboard jetpack or to provide levitation for his homemade hovercraft?

        • I will assume he has another leaf blower for the homemade hovercraft he is building in his garage this winter.

        • Deartháir

          Yes, but the only place without snow is Victoria, BC, and it's full of assholes.

      • Like this?

        I also use it to clean out the interior of the car.

  • pj134

    Couldn't buy it. I have friends who thought a sofa looked like good fire material. This thing wouldn't last its first bonfire.

  • B72

    The bark does not appear to be facing a consistent direction.

    Based on the above, I would not recommend this as a gift for a Norwegian.

  • Slow_Joe_Crow

    I think of it as a slightly more useful equivalent to this:
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    Man Ray's DaDa flatiron

    • SSurfer321

      I think I saw that piece at the Chicago Museum of Art.

  • SSurfer321

    My Mom wood love this piece. She has a log home and the guest room in the loft is decorated with all log furniture. Log Bed, log nightstand, log chest of drawers.

    • OA5599

      Your comment has been logged.

      • BlackIce_GTS

        I hope it's got a wood stereo, so you can…
        log a rhythm.

        stereo calculator?