Military-Grade Awesome

In Soviet Russia, Hedgehog Shoots You!

In glorious Mother Russia, we do not need to build another plane for close ground support. We install 88 PPSh-41 submachine guns in a bomber and we kill the Nazi scum! We call it Fire Hedgehog!

Loaded into a Tu-2 bomber, the Fire Hedghog would be used to rain leaden death on German troops. 88 PPSh-41 submachine guns, each capable of firing about 900 7.62x25mm Tokarev cartridges per minute, would create a torrent of death when deployed. If you’re doing your math, that’s 79,200 rounds per minute total. Of course, the magazines were not large enough for uninterrupted fire for a full minute. Actually, you would only get about 5 seconds out of it. That’s still an amazing 6,600 rounds raining down on the Axis troops.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking it would suck to be on the receiving end.

The main drawback of the Fire Hedgehog system was the big bomber would have to fly fairly low in order to ensure the proper amount of terror was brought upon the Wermacht. This obviously exposed the bomber to anti-aircraft fire, but only from those not in its path of destruction. Everyone else would be jumping for cover, praying to their god of choice, and hoping they survived the 5 seconds in hell. Those who did survive would, at the very minimum, have to visit the laundry.

[Ed. Our resident weapon expert, P161911 sent this in to the tips line a while back. Our hats off to you! If you would like us to take our hats off to you (try not to stare at Deartháir balding crown), send us your ideas to tips at atomictoasters dot com.]

[Photo Credit: English Russia]

  • Jeb

    IIRC, the USAF had something like this in Vietnam, but instead of submachine guns, it used automatic grenade launchers.

  • fodder650

    The B-57 Canberra had this package with the US Air Force as well. I am trying to find video of it.

  • OA5599
  • CaptianNemo2001

    88 Russian troops were pissed that they did not have a PPSh-41 submachine gun.

    • You mean 176 troops. Haven't you seen Enemy at the Gates.

  • texlenin

    Metal Storm has a variant of this, for both grenades and rifle rounds. Have no idea
    if anyone actually deploys it yet.