Aww, look at him in his new clothes!
(continued from part 1, which can be found here)
Having just been given an offer to race a car I could not refuse, and remembering what happened the LAST time I drove the ZomBee all the way up to Oregon and back, I began searching for alternate modes of transportation including planes, trains and for a moment even considered taking a bus.
NOT.
I had offers to be picked up from various airports or stations, and the idea of taking a train along the coast was the most appealing as it was something I’ve wanted to do just about forever. Alas, the costs and/or time involved weren’t much better than actually driving. And of course there was still a free spare motor sitting up in a Washington garage waiting for me to come get it. Plus I could always save a few bucks by camping in the trailer again… right?
Worlds smallest RV
Thus, overcome with excitement and temporarily losing my mind, I declared “Oh what the hell. I’ll just take the ZomBee and Dysentrailer again. It’s only a little bit further than last year’s trip. Right? RIGHT?!? NO PROBLEM!”
That means….ROADTRIP!!!
Whooo boy, time to get to work!
The first thing I addressed was giving the ZomBee a nice bath inside and out, which was probably the first time the interior had been cleaned since Gerald Ford left the oval office. Blasphemy mayhaps, yet it’s one thing (and kind of fun) to get dirty and greasy at the track or even in your own driveway, but quite another when you are standing outside a McDonalds in BFE, broken down with greasy hands, leaves and bark stuck in your hair asking for a milkshake. Looking crazy gets old after a while.
Scene from a previous trip, with leaves and bark stuck in his hair...
Lots of soap and water later and I had the car looking almost livable for the next week. It was almost disturbingly clean.
The second thing I had to address was emptying the Dysentrailer of all the extra MGB parts I’d been hauling around to various British car shows and swap meets over the summer. My attempts to sell these various bits has been largely unsuccessful. Could be the economy, could be the presentation. Either way people generally look slightly terrified when I show up.
1:1 model kit, recommended for ages 14 and up
The next issue on the list was the sudden new coolant leak which had popped up shortly after our last 24 hour race at Buttonwillow. At the track I had noticed several of the doubled-up zip-ties I use to hold the electric fan onto the radiator had broken, and I delegated replacing them to my teammates as I was busy preparing other frivolous things. BUT, I had mistakenly said “use zip-ties or safety-wire or something” absent-mindedly. The safety wire was chosen with the idea it would better resist breaking, and I did not think anything of it.
When I got home from the race I had to go searching for the source of a new water leak, which of course turned out to be from radiator tubes that were worn through by the hard safety wire. DOH!! I’m an idiot! And that was my last known good radiator, “borrowed” (yet again) from the carcass that used to be my wife’s poor MGB.
Annoyingly, my small stack of known-good spares had also been stolen out of my front yard by rogue-roving-recyclers while I was packing up for an earlier race. (which, somewhat embarrassingly resulted in a clapped-out dually pickup being chased unsuccessfully around town by a barefoot wild-haired maniac in a crazy “bug” racecar)
(to recycle or horde, horde or recycle...?)
So the least damaged looking radiator from my remaining junk pile in the back yard was drafted into service, and I spent the afternoon back-flushing, shaking and rinsing large, seriously wicked clumps of rust out of the radiator until it ran clean, and installed it.
Then I went shopping for a length of canvas made from real cotton duck, to create a new covered wagon roof like those used on the emigrant trails a century and a half ago. My cheapie hardware store drop-cloth on version 1 last year looked good at first, but shredded at the first sign of wind. The new canvas was authentic, and would hopefully stand up to occasional long-distance freeway trips and even last a few years. Several evenings with a “button-snap” punch later and I had a snazzy new roof for my mini-camper.
Convertible camping!
The next items on the list were extra 4.80-8 trailer tires and tubes for spares. I learned early on that a flat tire on a 1-wheel trailer is “kind of a big deal” with things coming to a complete (and noisy) halt.
A few years ago the first several trips we took with these silly things were fraught with failures – tread separation from the original 65 year old tire, several failed inner tubes and a handful of destroyed replacement tires. The wheels on these vintage Allstate single-wheel trailer frames are unique 8-inch aluminum split rims that seem to chew up inner-tubes like bubblegum. I’ve learned how to put one together almost failure free by being tediously aware of little details. But I’ve also learned they will most likely fail when you don’t have spares, and will leave you on the side of the road at 3am fending off horny crank-amped cougars who find you and your crazy trailer “interesting” (sends text to teammates: “HEEELP!”).
Kablooey!
With all the spares and supplies gathered plus the new roof installed I hitched the Dysentrailer up to the ZomBee and loaded them both with camping and racing gear, and the leanest box of spare parts I thought I could get away with. Then with much hoopla and head-shaking from the intertubes, I hit the road and set out on a 1,700 mile journey…
…in a race car I wasn’t even going to race.
Wagons HO!!
(Extraordinarily Stupid Road Trip – Part 3)
(Extraordinarily Stupid Road Trip – Part 1)
I know what cotton duck is, but whenever I read it I keep imagining a roof made of this:
<img src="http://www.babybouquetsandgifts.com/product_images/uploaded_images/organicduck.jpg">
Great. Now you've gone and given him that idea.
/paints ZomBee duck yellow and adds giant duck head to hood of car….
<img src="http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb122/moviemaker29/Batman%20Returns%20Vehicles/DuckSide1.jpg" width=500>
Then, one day, that ugly duckling grew into a beautiful swan.
<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_VRtSN2m_i5g/TSGW7ARrw0I/AAAAAAAAABE/0JhqJQkevgg/s1600/swan.gif">
That could probably get whatever LeMons waivers it needed.
Well… This is all unexpected…
I was at an auction where one of these was up for bid. It wasn't operational (I don't think it even had a drivetrain). I also think it was a replica instead of a real prop used in the movie, and high bid was five figures. I guess I should have bought it, huh?
If that was entered into a race, the judges might be tempted to call the winner of the race right then and there, especially if they got to drive it on the parade lap.
I suggest an upgraded trailer tire if you can find one… Of maybe a modern vintage.
Where's your sense of adventure?!
Driving the car ofc.
I can suggest an upgraded and more modern version of pretty much everything in this story.
So… Pete, my only question is this: If you weren't racing the 'Bee, why didn't you take the easy route and do the trip in Brownie, The World's Greatest Crappy RV?
The question that nags at my mind is, is the ZomBee the most road-trip worthy vehicle that he owns? I'd think that the Polara would make for a more comfortable and reliable drive than the MG, and I speak as the past owner of both a Dodge and an MG.
Eh, I own an MG and a MoPar. Strikes me as a toss-up.
Actually, your Plymouth is probably more reliable than the Polara appears to be, and would definitely be more fun.
The ZomBee just won't pull the bigger RV uphill without nitrous or a turbo.
Maybe next year.
A 1,700 mile road trip in a clapped-out MGB that's towing a known problematic trailer? And people call me crazy…
/Well, actually I'm certified, but that's beside the point…
At the cost of linking to [REDACTED], although at least it's to Ms. Martin's work, I'll point out that 1700 miles under such circumstances doesn't seem all that odd:
http://jalopnik.com/5343353/
The headline refers to the one-way distance, of course. I also turned around and went home.
Oh my, I had forgotten all about that. Yes, you impressed a great many people that day, I must admit.
However, I must point out that your MGB is in considerably better condition than the ZomBee, regardless of the ambiguity the term "better condition" in this instance, and I'll posit that your trailer had at least two relatively modern wheels and tires.
Shorter version: This is this and that is that.
My MGB completed most of that trip with a burnt valve and leaky head gasket. It was a fairly clapped-out car in its own right. I'll agree that the ZomBee has ergonomic issues and cop-attracting coachwork, but it's not all that bad mechanically, by MG standards. Pete's a much more competent and enthusiastic mechanic than I am.
As for my trailer, it has modern wheels and tires [now], but that's because it had an entertaining habit of loosening its own axle shackles, which produced all sorts of novel wear and a couple of high-speed blowouts before I figured out what was happening.
This this and that that aren't so different, but I'll never admit that to Pete.
AHA!!!
Aw, crap! You mean you read these?
Wagons Ho! Since you discussed buying spare wheels, that reminded me that I approved a fellow's comment a couple of days ago on your Single Wheel Trailer post.
He wants to buy a replacement rim. And posted a phone number, so he must be the trusting sort.
I don't know if it's of any use on car / trailer tires but talcum powder works great on bicycle tires. It stops the tire from sticking to inner tube, and at least it works great at preventing "snake-bites" or having the inner tube get pinched between the wheel and tire.
[...] (Continue on to part-2 here) [...]
[...] note: Last week we left our adventure having given in to temptation, made a series of very bad decisions, and executed a plan rather poorly. This week we continue and pick up the story as it starts to [...]