User Input

User Input: Community Support

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY-- wait... Free??

I’m sidetracking User Input for some super-important and top-secret site business… that’s posted right here on the main page for everyone to see. This is why I don’t work in espionage. Also because I couldn’t resist playing with the exploding pens.

We’re looking at the possibility of expanding the AtomicToasters Exotic Lifestyle Brand into clothing. Specifically, T-shirts. Well, we’ll consider other options, but we’re still a bit creeped out about some of the other options we initially considered.

Obviously we’ll have a T-shirt with our logo on it… but we’ve had some great quips and comments that we think deserve to be immortalized in fashion. So that’s our question for you: what articles, comments, quotes, pictures, or themes should we mine for ideas to create a series of T-shirts that would be appealing, not only to you, but to a potential outside audience, with the aim of bringing them into the fold and growing the site?

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  • GlassOnion9

    Wait… You're letting other people in?

    /hides

  • Number_Six

    Nice to see AT is staying abreast of the corporate key performance indicators and is now looking to flesh out some new business opportunitities.

    • Deartháir

      Sorry, I stopped listening after "breast"… what was that?

      • Number_Six

        I just noticed someone else used that word today, so I hate my stupid comment now.

        /slams door, runs out to buy a flavourless lunch

  • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

    "It's not the size of the pipe, it's the throughput."

  • highmileage_v1

    (Eyes fixed on the monitor) Umm, right , t-shirts, OK, whatever, I'm in….

    • Deartháir

      It's like hypnosis, except that we're not staring at her hyps.

      • GlassOnion9

        I think this qualifies as an answer to the question.

      • highmileage_v1

        Hyps, yes certainly, (continues to fixate), sorry, you were saying?

        I think I might be displaying objectification-type behaviour….

      • pj134

        I bet she has awesome hyps too…

        Can you find us a picture of her hyps to stare at?

        • Deartháir
          • pj134

            She does!

          • highmileage_v1

            You just had to do it, didn't you? (buries head in icewater) I'm OK now, back to the question. I'm thinking a T with the site logo and the Russian nuclear powered aircraft on it or maybe the B-36 with the embedded reactor. Oh, and if you can work in Tanshanomi's cruising quote "totally-awesome weird, just-plain-weird weird, and nearly-impossible-to-put-up-with weird" in there somewhere, it would be perfect.

          • Deartháir

            I like it… maybe some line-art drawings of some of the coolest items we've covered. The tricky thing will be picking items that can be recognizable.

            And calm yourself, man. I was going to use this image:

            <img src="http://www.digdang.com/media/images/free_hug_7354.jpg&quot; width="400">

          • highmileage_v1

            Umm, yes, well, er, thank you? Atomic hugs I guess.

            I think some of the Professors massive machines would make good T art. The rail gun or forging press for instance. Or Hycospeed's toy ICBM launcher, or Fodders aircraft engines. Project Orion or a cutout drawing of Project Pluto maybe. Anyway, lots of good material here.

          • GlassOnion9

            And here I thought that pj's request was in vain.

            Thanks, I'm good now!

  • Deartháir

    Shouldn’t have posted a photo with boobs in it. Now we’ll never be able to focus for long enough to answer the damn question.

    • http://www.hooniverse.com JeepyJayhawk

      Um. Yeah. T-shirts wooo!

  • GlassOnion9

    I nominate this:

    "you write an article about wood, one of my favorite things in the world since i am a woodcraft collector and carpenter, and use a photo of fornicating trees as the photo?!

    bye! "

    -OA5599

    Also, I do realize this makes me an asshole. I'm OK with that.

    • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

      They said t-shirt not extra length sleep shirt.

    • pj134

      I still don't understand what happened there…

      • tiberiusẅisë

        All I know is we lost one of our female contributors.

        Ford GTs are awesome.

        /just trying to play it safe for the other one.

      • GlassOnion9

        Well, you see, when a boy tree and a girl tree fall in love…

  • Baron Von Danger

    You had me at boobs

    Wait… How did I get here?

    • Deartháir

      You saw the boobs on the preview pic on Facebook and clicked through instinctively?

      /totally not planned… not at all.

      • Baron Von Danger

        You tricked me Darth Hair!
        I guess I can't complain.

  • OA5599

    You want to bring eyeballs to the site? Instead of selling t-shirts, how about a line of 300ZX knockoff performance parts?

    • GlassOnion9

      Ouch.

      /has owned 2 300zx's in the past.

      Also, good plan.

    • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

      Or a drifting pickup.
      Or a Chrysler Crossfire.

      • pj134

        Or a donk sports car photoshop

        • TurboBrick

          I hear nominating out-of-production Polish sport sedans for coveted industry awards gets you a lot of visits.

    • Deartháir

      Frankly, I'm amazed we haven't gotten trolled by a forum yet. And a little hurt.

      • Number_Six

        But we did suffer that completely unwarranted attack by the Bangladeshis. Those were hard times.

      • GlassOnion9

        They're afraid of our trolls.
        Mostly because at least a few of them do weapons research.

        • Deartháir

          AtomicToasters: The Most Heavily-Armed Nerds on the Internets

          • The Professor

            Damned straight! And we like to use 'em, too!

  • tiberiusẅisë

    Things I would buy in a heartbeat:

    T Shirt with the graphic of the multiple steampunk winged toasters.
    T Shirt with the graphic of the single toaster with the flames and the silver backswept wings.
    Toaster with same graphic.
    Toaster cozy with the same graphic. (preferably to fit a Kitchen Aid toaster oven)

    Personally, I would leave off any text. Keep them guessing. Partially because being understood is a lost cause for me.

    Oh, and flame throwers. Atomic Toasters the flame thrower!

    • Deartháir

      You know, there is nothing I would like more than if our audience threw together some photochop toasters that I could run in the banner — and create shirts from.

      My Photoshop abilities consist of "double-click app icon, stare blankly at screen that pops up, close window and slink away frightened".

      My original concept for the toaster was more Buck Rogers, but I liked the overall look of this. I could swear Techie posted my sketch once, but I can't find it again.

      • Deartháir
        • pj134

          I like how the drawing was pixelated! Way to stick to the retro tech concept!

      • tiberiusẅisë

        What is this "double-click" of which you speak?

        • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

          That's what you have to do when your mouse only has one button.

          • Deartháir

            My mouse has no buttons…

          • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

            Hed asplode

          • The Professor

            You hit the C-note, congrats! You're now eligible for Century Commenter benefits! Aren't you the lucky one!
            Along with the bad coffee, cheap booze and stale cookies (the donuts are gone. As usual), you also get a lifetime supply of genuine Canadian-ish Ice Weasel pelts! How exciting! These uncured pelts are well-ventilated for easy access! Isn't that amazing!?! You need to act now before these limited edition pelts are completely devoured by the family of possibly rabid skunks that have nested in them! Just send us your name and address and all of your phone numbers and we'll ship these rare natural treasures today! Don't miss out!

          • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

            Thanks. It's taken 2 years and 2065 troll posts comments to get here.

            I look forward to the delivery of the pelts. The Mrs. wants a new sewing project and a new purse.

      • The Professor


        <img src="
        https://farm5.static.flickr.com/4050/4252884735_fa6dbae6cf.jpg&quot; width="300" border="2" style="border:2px solid black;" alt=" " />

      • The Professor


        <img src="
        http://www.joescherzi.com/images/portfolio/large/personal/image15_steampunk1.jpg&quot; width="500" border="2" style="border:2px solid black;" alt=" " />

        • acarr260

          That toaster is ten types of awesome, but after looking at the picture more, I'm really curious about those "Gourmet Coal Granules".

      • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        <img src="http://imgur.com/MjHAW.gif"&gt; Okay I took mdharrell's advice and improved it a bit from last time.

        • http://www.washington.edu/news/archive/52703 mdharrell

          Ah. Yes. Thanks.

          Perhaps politics isn't such a horrible alternative, after all.

          • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

            <img src="http://i.imgur.com/8nHTR.gif"&gt; I just saw what you were talking about regarding the politics, now I understand. Though it surprised me, I expected you to see about what was in this image. I was going to recommend for you to fire-up Mosaic to see what all the hugging was about. Interestingly, this page has HTML errors. Dearhair should check the traceback in lynx I suppose. Web masters, never caring about conformance, simply the common browsers in use, things never change. Oh and I am completely being silly here in this comment, and well all of them here. I do not in any way expect those annoying toasters to ever be used. Nor would I want it. Okay I would want it because I could brag, but I'm just being silly.

        • Deartháir

          How do we put an animated gif on a T-shirt?

          Well… besides giving it to the girl in the lead photo… along with a trampoline…

          • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

            I like the trampoline idea, very very much. I would have suggested those bumpy plastic screens, where you see two different images from different angles. That or plasma TVs. But truly a trampoline is the way to animate here.

            <img src="http://imgur.com/MjHAW.gif"&gt;

            Anyway, you asked for photoshops that could be used for t-shirt or banner. I meant this for a banner on the top of the site. But I think this is disqualified since I don't know how to use photoshop as well. I used imagemagick and gifsicle :) Oh and who knows what the rights were to the toasters I found on some animated gif site. I am proud that the image is transparent and works on dark backgrounds equally, her included of course.

  • Number_Six

    Some of our tags would be fun on t-shirts, like "John Glenn's ICBM" or "I can feel my lunch coming up". Comments like "Data Anchor" would be great, too.

    • Deartháir

      Actually that's not a bad idea. We've got thousands of tags that make me laugh every time I start writing an article… I should go collect some of those and post them to choose from.

      • Deartháir

        Possible post tags that have been used a few times and make me laugh:

        "Are you kids building an interocitor up there?"
        "Please hold until you hang up."
        "Put that poor wee animal down. Kin ye no hear it's in pain?"
        "Pass me a kidney!"
        'A person' is smart. People are dumb panicky animals and you know it.
        8-bit Graphic Nirvana
        A nuke a day keeps the doctor away.
        Accordions suck… then blow!
        Alan Shepard beat Glenn and Grissom in a game of monopoly
        Alderaan Shot First
        All that money and he still can't get a stylish pair of glasses.
        Anyone else have a crush on Lea Thompson from Howard the Duck and Back To The Future?
        Asking for a cheeseburger was a lengthy process that required the use of shorthand.
        At least it's not Rick Astley
        Back when I was a boy, we ate dirt!
        Back when phones had a good throwin' weight to 'em
        Behold! The power of string!
        Being an adult doesn't have to be boring.
        Being Obnoxious For Fun And Profit
        Hey buddy, I don't see a Pulitzer on your desk either.
        But I don't WANNA grow up!
        But where do I find a fat guy with an apron full of quarters?
        Can I call Seven of Mine a weapon?
        Changing the game… then not playing.
        Coast Guard rescues are a sign you're doing something right.
        Come with me if you want to live!
        Discount Lap Dances!
        Distracting you from the latest Apple Media Event
        Does "porn" count as technology?
        Does anybody actually care about this shit?
        Don't worry, big guy. We've got this under control.
        Drinking Our Way to Technological Advancement!

        …okay, I'll continue that later, there's a LOT of them.

        • pj134

          I would like to see the "Being Obnoxious for Fun and Profit " in 0000FF on a hunting orange t shirt with the generic 1950's guy giving the gun and the wink.

        • fodder650

          Hey wasn't "A nuke a day keeps the doctor away. " mine?

    • OA5599

      ICBM is funnier when you say it out loud.

      • Mr_Biggles

        Light comes on! I've never noticed that until right now. I think that would be a hot selling graphic for baby clothing.

  • pj134

    I'm seeing a toaster oven with nuclear power plant style chimneys coming out of the top.

  • GlassOnion9

    I actually saw a copy of this in a bookstore recently:

    <img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ABT9CS0XL._SL500_AA300_.jpg&quot; />

    I'm sure it has lots of fun pictures to borrow for T shirts.

  • http://www.hooniverse.com JeepyJayhawk

    I'd take a T with an image of one of our favorite bombers dropping toasters. Could be cool.

  • http://o2richenvironment.blogspot.com/ engineerd

    The words should be limited to "zombies" "radioactive lemurs" and "not kid friendly".

  • $kaycog

    I'm confused. Do you want T-shirts with bewbs on them, or do you want automatic toasters on them? I'm sure the answer is "yes".

    • tiberiusẅisë

      We're not that crass. The answer therefore is "yes please."

      • $kaycog

        I think there are some of you that crass. 😉 Not you, of course!

      • pj134

        Bitch please.

        (Note: THIS IS TO TIBERIUS!!! TIBERIUS NOT SKAYCOG!!! TIBERIUS!!!)

    • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

      Aren't all toasters automatic? How does a manual toaster work? Or is that Tiberiuswise's flamethrower?

      $kaycog said bewbs <giggles>

      • $kaycog

        I love the little boy in your reply.

        • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

          <blushes>
          she said she loves me
          <faints>

    • Deartháir

      You should know we're all easily distracted by bewbs by now. They're completely irrelevant to everything we're supposed to be discussing here, but somehow they've monopolized our attentions. How do they DO that??

    • Number_Six

      It's going to be a sad day for all of us when you finally reveal that you're actually this guy:
      <img src="http://www.koruconcepts.co.uk/digital/tron_guy.jpg?w=300&h=300&quot; />

      • $kaycog

        That's hilarious!

      • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        I had a dream where that guy was doing donuts in a Volvo Amazon wagon to the song Derezed by Daft Punk. Well, he had a cooler helmet though in my dream.

  • aastrovan

    Rule 34.
    Toaster Version.

  • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    Cheating encouraged while hunting.

  • acarr260

    Wow, that little boiler really works?! I'm amazed. It might take much longer, but that is truly awesome.

  • pj134

    So, I'm terrible with photoshop, but here is my first attempt at something for this.
    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/1XSxI.png"&gt;
    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/lo89X.png"&gt;

  • PowerTryp

    Way late I know but I'd like a teeshirt with a picture like this.

    <img src="http://0.tqn.com/w/experts/Small-Household-Appliances-3559/2010/03/Sunbeam-auto-toaster.jpg"&gt;

    • GlassOnion9

      Your schematic is missing the diagram of the small nuclear reactor inside the toaster.

      • CaptianNemo2001

        Indeed it is…

  • http://ignnch47.dmusic.net/journal/289957 Peter Glosser

    you are actually a excellent webmaster. The site loading pace is incredible. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterwork. you have done a excellent activity on this matter!

  • Teresa McCormack

    How do I get this T Shirt?

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