User Input

User Input: Not Yet Caffeinated


I did not sleep well last night. I had two kittens who decided that I would make a great landing platform for whatever aerial acrobatics they wanted to try, and some jackass with a rig-rocket decided to idle his diesel engine with no muffler just below my bedroom window at about 4:30 AM.

But that’s okay! Our society has developed a series of technologies to adapt to this dilemma, and to resolve the problem of an absence of sleep. It’s called coffee, and it is the nectar of the gods. The only problem is, because it’s so fantastic, people have developed dozens of ways of preparing it. Lattes, cappuccinos, americanos, long espressos, cafe crema or even just plain old coffee, you can pretty much find a drink the way you’ll like it regardless of your tastes.

So what are your tastes? Personally, I’ll take coffee just about any way you put it in front of me… but I like it sweet. I like to have some sugar in it to cut the bitter aftertastes, but other than that I like coffee in pretty much any form you can come up with. But what do you prefer? Given all the option, how would you normally order your drink?

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  • B72

    I drink coffee about once a year. When I do, I generally order it straight, no chaser.

  • $kaycog

    I like my coffee black and bold. On occasion, a vanilla-flavored cappuccino is nice.

    • The Professor

      Vanilla? Gaah! The odor of that stuff is vile, to say nothing of the taste. So I will.
      You must have the tastebuds of a guuurrrll.

      • $kaycog

        Are you crazy? Vanilla is one of my favorite flavors! I love vanilla ice cream (chocolate chips in it are nice). My favorite cookies are Pepperidge Farm's Goldfish Vanilla Cupcake. So……………take that!!

        • The Professor

          Bah! Vanilla coffee tastes (and smells) nothing like vanilla in ice cream or cakes (which I enjoy also). What ever they do to vanilla when they try to flavor coffee with it is barbaric.
          Bleah! back at you!

          • $kaycog

            I said vanilla cappuccino………..not in plain coffee. PAY ATTENTION!!!!! Pfffffft!!!

          • The Professor

            Hmph. It's still made with vanilla coffee, isn't it? Or is it? I'm unfamiliar with those strange drinks from Yurp.

          • $kaycog

            Not made with vanilla coffee. They squirt in some flavoring out of bottles like these. I still prefer just regular black coffee.

            <img src="http://www.nectaroflife.com/images/Syrupsbig.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

          • The Professor

            Ok, I relent. That doesn't sound too awful. If I'm going to have a sweet coffee drink, I'll go for a mocha. They're pretty hard to screw up (but it can be done, unfortunately).

            /raspberry in coffee? Ew.

          • $kaycog

            Finally, we agree………raspberry coffee. Nasty.

          • Deartháir

            But raspberry in a dark-chocolate mocha? Delicious.

          • $kaycog

            Dark chocolate, you say? I didn't know they had it in mocha. Hmmm.

          • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

            Whoa that's the meanest I've seen you yet. You should get a cup of Pepperidge Farm's Goldfish Vanilla Cupcake coffee.

          • $kaycog

            He started it.

            (I finished it.) 😉

          • The Professor

            Bah! You got lucky this time…

          • $kaycog

            Yes. I did.

  • FЯeeMan

    Kittehs. Straight into the stacks (assumption made) at 04:35.

    /dog person

    • http://o2richenvironment.blogspot.com/ engineerd

      I'm engineerd™, and I approve of this message.

      • The Professor

        A pox on both of your houses.

        • FЯeeMan

          There will be no pox here. We've all had and/or been vaccinated.

          • The Professor

            Hmph. Not against the pox that I made…

      • FЯeeMan

        So, if a spud in a regularly sized exhaust will kill a motor, how much blockage would it take in one of those 6"+ stacks to stop the diesel?

  • http://www.automobile-catalog.com/ P161911

    On the rare occasion that I drink coffee, I like a nice dark roast, that I then add lots of Splenda/sugar and enough milk/cream to cool it down. Probably more of a mocha when I'm done.

    • http://www.automobile-catalog.com/ P161911

      OK how about latte then?

      • Mike_the_Dog

        I was just about to change it when you replied, ended up deleting it instead:( Yes, that would be a latte or cafe Americano (not sure which). I was going to suggest that if you did want to make a cafe mocha, just add some Nestle's Quik to the milk before adding the coffee. It's really good.

        • Deartháir

          Yes, a latte is a shot of espresso in a cup that is mostly steamed milk with a bit of foam on top. (A cappuccino has more foam. Why? No idea.) An Americano is just watered-down espresso, because the American GI's who were occupying Italy during WWII were manly enough to kick the ass of all the Italian troops, but not manly enough to drink their coffee. Go figure. So they had to create a way to drink the espresso, and that turned out to be just watering it down. True story.

  • skitter

    By the time there is enough milk and sugar in it to be palatable, it is ice cream.

  • http://o2richenvironment.blogspot.com/ engineerd

    I like my coffee the way I like my women…strong and black.

    Though I will drink most any type of coffee, my tastes change based on the time of day. My wife likes Caribou Coffee and will have it any time of the day, but I find it to be very sweet and prefer to only have it as more of a "desert drink". In the morning I prefer either black coffee or a strong latte (I am king of the extra shots) or machiatto. If I can't taste the espresso, it's not strong enough.

    • Deartháir

      I like my coffee the way I like my women: ground up and roasted.

      Wait, no, that's not it.

      • The Professor


        <img src="
        http://i1144.photobucket.com/albums/o491/dmilligan666/FuckTheBodyjpgresize.jpg&quot; width="200" border="2" style="border:2px solid black;" alt=" " />

        • Number_Six

          I need that picture for my OK Cupid profile!

          • The Professor

            Click on the image for the full size, and you should be able to right click and DL it. If you can't, email me.

          • Number_Six

            Thank you for helping ensure that I'll be banned from online dating forever.

          • The Professor

            Mr. Helpful, that's me.

        • FuzzyPlushroom

          Could the killing be indefinitely postponed?

  • Mike_the_Dog

    If I'm at a place that makes espresso (or if I'm feeling froggy and dust off my Krups), I'll have a triple or quad shot, straight up. If I'm drinking gas station coffee, I'll fill a cup about 1/3 with the hot chocolate from the cappuccino machine and to the top with the darkest roast they have. If I'm at home and not firing up the pump espresso machine, I'll mix milk, Nestle's Quik and a little sugar in the bottom of the cup, stir until the lumps dissolve (very important step) and then fill with strong Italian or French roast from my Bodum Santos coffemaker (this thing is neat, you should google it), for a low-rent cafe mocha.

    • FuzzyPlushroom

      Similarly, my work coffee is dark roast, powdered hot cocoa mix, a bit of sugar, and (generally) no damned milk. Milk is for when I actually have energy but haven't had a solid breakfast.

      If I'm making coffee at home, or out somewhere and ordering coffee with someone, I tend to get it black with about eight teaspoons of sugar. It's a kick in the head.

  • acarr260

    After working in Europe over the past few years, I've developed their distaste for drip coffee. I finally replaced my no-long-in-use coffee machine in my home with an espresso machine, but it still doesn't produce the quality that the machines in our offices in Hockenheim produced (of course, those cost over $3k USD). If I go to Starbucks or somewhere similar, I opt for iced coffee unless it's really cold outside and my old VW's heater has yet to warm the interior.

    • Mike_the_Dog

      The steam-type espresso machines are basically just small drip machines, and the results kinda show it (I have one of those in a closet somewhere), but my Krups pump-type espresso machine does a decent enough job. My everyday coffee maker of choice these days is a Bodum Santos electric. Its product is far superior to drip coffee, and (IMO) is every bit as good as french pressed coffee without the grit and hassle.

      • The Professor

        I've got to try one of the new Bodum machines, they sound promising. I have a Melitta drip machine that make a surprisingly good cup, and I use it when I don't have time to fart around with a press. I'd like to try that $3K machine that acarr260 mentioned too. Just keep those awful Bunn office coffee machines away from me.

        • acarr260

          Those $3k machines are everywhere in Germany and France. The coffee is superb. Unfortunately, I don't recall the brand of the machine. I didn't care much once I found out that it was worth more than two of my cars.

          • The Professor

            Yeah, those kinds of machines are way too spendy for home use, but they can make killer coffee in the hands of someone that knows how to use them.
            Even if you could afford one, where in the world would you put the thing? They're huge!

          • acarr260

            The machines in Europe aren't very big. It sounds like you're thinking of a commercial machine like at a big coffee shop. The machines in our offices in Europe have the footprint of a small microwave. Some people tried to get our VP to buy a couple for our office here in Indiana and got laughed out of his office.

      • acarr260

        I wish I had tried coffee from the machine I bought before the purchase. It's basically strong drip coffee. It doesn't look or taste like espresso should (imho). I may have to look into that pump-type machine.

    • TechieInHell

      My sister lived in Monaco for about a decade and was dating a nice Italian boy. When I went to visit, he took us up into the hills of Northern Italy for a real taste of old world culture. We had espresso from a little hole in the wall café in a small mountain village. And I mean literally hole in the wall – a doorway cut into an older wall to make just enough room for a few espresso cookers and biscotti. I was told that my delicate and uncultured palate would not be able to endure such concentrated brew.

      It was definitely the best espresso I have ever had, and I delighted in drinking it straight and asking for another, as my native Italian friend started dumping sugar packets into his.

  • tonyola

    As I've said before here, I'm not a big coffee drinker – just one cup in the morning for a kicker. Cream and sweetener, please. Also, I like Cuban-style cafe con leche, though I don't make it at home.

  • Number_Six

    I firmly believe coffee shops need two lineups: one for people who drink actual coffee, the other for weirdos who drink vanilla chai skim 107C half-caf caramel dessert abominations.

    • The Professor

      Hear hear! Make them sit out back, too!

    • TechieInHell

      I say, good show, old chap! I used to drink my coffee sweet and creamy. Then I discovered good coffee. Now, if I have to put sugar in it, that means it's crap. If you're serious about coffee, you don't need all that cruft.

      • Deartháir

        Oh good try. It's not the coffee I dislike. It's the bitter aftertaste. The obvious solution is to never stop drinking it, but that eventually becomes impractical.

        My Kopi Luwak I can drink straight. Other than that, I need something in it.

        • Number_Six

          "I can drink coffee only if it was shit out by a rare Asiatic badger."

          /Lord Fontleroy, your carriage awaits

          • Deartháir

            It's surprising. It's not even CLOSE to being worth the $2500/kg they want for it up here. It tastes… remarkably like coffee. Really, there's not much difference. But it has no aftertaste. It doesn't have that bitter "bleah" taste you get in your mouth ten minutes after you drink a regular cup of coffee. It just… goes away.

          • Number_Six

            *edit…I've had six Starbucks coffees today. I need to take a sedative and STFU.

          • Deartháir

            I've had three Tassimo pods. Wheeeee!

          • PowerTryp
          • PowerTryp
  • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    <img src="http://www.mycubanstore.com/bustcombo-cmn.jpg"&gt; not great, but cheap, and strong

    • http://o2richenvironment.blogspot.com/ engineerd

      That's what she said.

    • Mike_the_Dog

      I have a couple of those stovetop machines in my coffee maker collection, too. My only issue with them is that they won't make enough in one go to fill my favorite cup (~20oz.). Cafe Bustelo is okay, but there's a local roaster hear than makes a mean Italian roast for $10/lb. (Compare to Starbuck's bagged coffee at $10/12oz.)

  • kestrel131

    I run a Bodum French Press if it is just me (or a Technivorm Moccamaster if I need to serve more people). The biggest thing I have found is fresh grinding…I grind the beans every morning (Breville Ikon conical burr grinder FTW!!!). Every bean tastes better if it is ground fresh each…oh, and I no longer stockpile coffee…don't let it go stale.

    I'll drink it black or with 1 sugar and chocolate soy milk…and I'll admit to drinking the above mentioned dessert abominations…as dessert

    • Mike_the_Dog

      The above-mentioned dessert abominations are just fine, as long as there's at least two shots of whiskey in them. For dessert. Or breakfast.

  • http://flyinghammerstudio.net/ SSurfer321

    Kona blend coffee from a french press is about as extravagant as we get. It's typically Folgers medium/dark roast from the coffee pot. None of that pansy cream or sugar either.

  • http://hooniverse.com/ HycoSpeed

    Dark roast Yuban out of a $20 coffee maker. I manned up and went to black about 4 months ago, best decision ever. Before that I used Splenda or sugar like a wussy.

    I also drink lots of Bunn coffee at work. I think those things burn the water somehow before making the coffee. And everyone seems to think coffee means mild roast and slightly tinted water. If you can see through it then it isn't coffee. But I drink it anyhow.

    • Mike_the_Dog

      If I'm working at a place that has a multi-plate Bunn, I'll bring my own coffee and commandeer a pot (either the decaf pot or one that I mark in some way), and make coffee to my liking. After a couple of days, I notice I'm not the only one drinking the heavy-duty stuff.

  • FЯeeMan

    A friend of mine got me hooked on French Vanilla creamer. I still hold it against him. That or just black.

    I had another friend who was never a coffee drinker. We brought some over, and she offered to make it. She dumped the ground coffee in the basket (with filter), added water and started brewing. When it was done, she brought out the carafe. It was a 4-cup maker. I had given her a pack for a 12-cup brewer. It was amusing when the spoon bent while stirring in a bit of sugar.

    • Deartháir

      That's how my mom makes it intentionally. You can stand a fork up in it, then pull it out of the cup and carve off pieces with a steak-knife.

  • Slow_Joe_Crow

    I drink it black like one of Johnny Cash's suits down a coal mine at midnight.

    • zaddikim

      HotBlack Desiato black. Yes.

  • http://www.wegmuller.org dwegmull

    I was about to make up some coffee drinking story, to fit in, but the truth is I drink tea.

    • Mike_the_Dog

      I drink a fair bit of tea, too. Mostly Earl Grey.

  • GlassOnion9

    I drink way more coffee than I probably should. Mostly because I love good coffee.

    I tend to prefer something freshly roasted, brewed in a french press. Black. A friend of mine roasts coffee and the stuff that has been roasted within the last week is definitely the best.

    I've also been making Cuban style cafe con leche for the wife and I on weekends. I use one of these:

    <img src="http://www.1st-line.com/images/eg/55-small.jpg&quot; />

    and then add scalded milk, sugar, and a little bit of cinnamon. Otherwise, coffee should not be sweet.

    • GlassOnion9

      Also, I've found that using a burr grinder for the french press makes a WORLD of difference compared to the blade style grinders.

    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      What is that?

      • GlassOnion9

        You mean the coffee maker?
        It is one of those steam pressure stovetop espresso makers:
        <img src="http://fantes.com/images/bellman-cx25-parts-schematic.gif"&gt;

        More Info

        • GlassOnion9

          Incidentally, I just realized you posted the Bustelo up above. That would be what I use for the Cafe con leche. This contraption is pretty similar to the one you posted, except that it also has the ability to work as a steamer for frothing milk.

  • craigsu

    If it's a cold morning at work I will add 2 packets of Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate to 12 ounces of coffee from one of those *shudder* Bunn machines and, suddenly, all is right with the world.

  • randomusername

    Black. No sugar. At home i use a Moccamaster GCS i got for 20€. At work it's horrible coffee from the machine, though the espresso is barely drinkable as a shot once it's cold.

    Jut now i'm eating Scho-Ka-Kola to gather enough energy to go get some of the horrible espresso. German dark chocolate with cola and coffee. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scho-Ka-Kola

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