Startup: Always Read The Fine Print

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My signature on my email at work is the usual boring stuff: contact info, a couple of certifications that may or may not be relevant. I don’t go for the boilerplate legalese. At home, my personal email is a round-robin of a few hundred little quotes and nuggets, none of which are workplace appropriate. Eliot, who posted this screenshot to imgur, claims to have used this boilerplate text on his emails for 10 years without a single person calling attention to it. You may need to click for the larger version if you have less tan 20/10 vision.

  • tiberiusẅisë

    These are hysterical when received on a smart phone.

  • The Professor

    The only thing he missed was "void where prohibited".

    • OA5599

      It's there on the right of the sixth line. Of course, your mileage may vary and batteries not included. See your doctor if symptoms persist.

      • If you experience an erection that lasts more than four hours, call your doctor. Or send flowers.

      • The Professor

        May contain nuts.

  • GlassOnion9

    Processed in a plant that uses peanuts. Storage in anything other than an approved container is strictly prohibited. Trespassers will be shot.

    • The Professor

      Survivors will be shot again.

      • P161911

        Trespassers will be violated.

    • Previously handled frozen. Do not microwave in this container.

  • Some jurisdictions do not allow limitations on implied warranties, so some of the above limitations may not apply to you.

  • erikotis75

    This email may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer.

  • GlassOnion9

    I always liked this one. Those other silly states clearly don't read the literature as carefully as California.

  • When I corresponded with a lot of attorneys, my sig line used to read (in Latin), "Intelligent people speak clearly. Others, Latin." None of them called me on it.

    • highmileage_v1

      Nil carborundum illegitimi est!

      • Ah, a Harvard man. Kudos.

  • BlackIce_GTS

    This email complies with part 15 of the FCC rules. Operation is subject to the following two conditions:
    (1) This email may not cause harmful interference, and
    (2) This email must accept any interference received including interference that may cause undesired operation.

  • P161911

    Maximum range 2 miles.

  • texlenin

    "No user repairable components inside-opening
    will void warranty."
    Anybody here watch Big Bang Theory? Watch
    for the "Vanity Card" at the very end of the
    credits. You can read 'em online.

  • aastrovan

    Close cover before striking.