So today is the big day. Apple has another one of their events scheduled, and though Steve is gone he left enough residual energy from his patented Reality Distortion Field™ to keep the media salivating. They’re supposed to talk about another iPhone, meanwhile here at the AT Labs Monashee Field Office everyone gave a half-hearted “oh goody” and went back to planning ways to sneak peanut butter into Deartháir’s everything.
Like it or hate it, Apple has found a way to make lots of people want their stuff, and as the haters will tell you ad nauseam it doesn’t even have to be good; good doesn’t guarantee popular. Look at Apple’s previous offering back in the pre-smartphone days when they were just called PDA’s – like the above pictured Newton Message Pad 2000. I bought one of these off an Apple field office a few years back for a token few farthings. It was freakin awesome. Despite only having a greyscale screen, CompactFlash memory slots, and PCMCIA expansion, it was still pretty cool. The calendar and notification system worked. After sitting dead on a shelf for three years I threw in a pair of fresh batteries and it immediately notified me of an upcoming recurring appointment. It could play MP3′s years before the iPod came around. The stylus had good throwing weight (which is important in pens and beverage tumblers). It had handwriting recognition that rivalled even today’s systems – I could continuously write and it would just keep recognizing and popping words in place. Sure it wasn’t perfect, but like the old saying goes: “How many Newtons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Faux. There to eat lemons, axle gravy soup.”