User Input

User Input: It’s Not A Theory, Man, It’s Real!

Last night I went to see Independence Day 2 Battle: Los Angeles in an effort to disengage my brain for a couple of hours. I’m not saying the movie was bad, but mission accomplished. Light spoiler alert – the aliens are attacking because they use water for fuel and we’ve got lots of it.

On the way home, my brian kicked back on and started to ponder a few things – like how water-as-fuel has evolved into the realm of cold fusion and zero-point energy: a great concept but largely believed to be outside the realm of practical physics. Those who have gone down that path have ended up either panned as crackpots or pushing up the daisies. Then I started to wonder if there might have been a larger motivation behind the movie. Perhaps it’s was sponsored by Big Oil as a warning that if we ever cracked the water-fuel nut, we would use up all our natural water and begin invading other planets to steal theirs. In short, we either keep using oil or turn into a selfish race of heartless invaders. Then I snapped out of it and came to my senses, but a good conspiracy theory can be fun.

What’s the most farcical conspiracy theory you’ve heard?

[“User Input” is the AtomicToasters Question of the Dayâ„¢ asking you, the teeming millions, to answer our pressing questions.]

  • I still can't believe that there are people out there (a significant portion of the population depending on the study) that believe the moon landings were staged. They were talking about this on the radio a few days ago and this guy calls in and starts saying, "It was staged. Why else did we never go back?"

    Dude, we went back 6 times. There would have been a 7th, but the boys on Apollo 13 had bigger things to worry about.

    • SSurfer321

      ashamed to say I am still not 100% convinced and don't know that I ever will be. I'm probably 98% convinced but want to leave the door cracked, you know, just in case.

      • Number_Six

        I had an uncle who was a rocket scientist with NASA. He literally turned a key on some of the launches. I have one of those keys and a lot of correspondence from NASA to Boeing contractors. I find it hard to believe that the thing my uncle was most proud of in his life and that had thousands of closely-connected witnesses, a budget of billions, and all those Saturn Five launches were for…what…?

        • SSurfer321

          I have a relative that was an astronaut and went up numerous times. That doesn't mean I believe we went to the moon.
          If a storm blows though, my satellite TV turns to snow. But in 1969 we can have a live feed from the moon?

        • I find it hard to believe that such a massive conspiracy could be kept so secret for so long. How many people were in on it? Thousands of government, NASA, and contractor employees all over the country. And nobody has come forward to say, "I ran the camera."

          For me, the conspiracy is harder to believe than the event.

        • name_too_long

          You are a lucky man, I would kill for one of those keys.

      • tonyola
      • I meant to say this earlier, but I applaud you for saying this. You sir have balls.

  • Number_Six

    I spent many years living in Asia, so I've heard no end of conspiracy theories. The best one I have heard is that the US invaded North Korea in 1950. It is so far beyond the realm of possibility that that's what happened, it's almost funny. But what's scary is the huge proportion of South Koreans under the age of 40 who believe this crap. North Korea must have some kick-ass propaganda agents.

    • name_too_long

      Uh, we sort-of did go to Korea in the early '50s… though, North Korea wasn't a separate country at the time; we did, at various points, have uninvited troops in what would become North Korean territory.

      It doesn't take a master of propaganda to spin US involvement in the Korean war into an "Invasion of North Korea".

      Now if the theory was that it had been a successful invasion and we controlled N. Korea, then yeah; industrial strength crazy.

      • Number_Six

        South Korea was an independent country in 1950 and was not under occupation by any foreign forces, US or otherwise. Communist North Korea invaded South Korea on June 25th, 1950; an action which sparked the event called the "Korean War." North Korean forces took all of South Korea in a few months, except for a small portion of land around the southeastern port city Busan. South Korea was not an asset that had been laid out in American Asian strategic thinking, so there was a lot of debate over whether or not they would help South Korea at all. Fear of Chinese aggression was what tipped the US towards acting; fears which were to be borne out when the Chinese sent hundreds of thousands of soldiers to help North Korean forces fight the forces sent against them by the United Nations.

        • tonyola

          It was also kind of a paranoid time in the US. The Red Scare was in sway by 1950 and the official attitude of the US was that all the communist nations were parts of one big socialistic monolith. There was much talk of the "domino theory" in that if one nation fell to the communists, all the other countries in the region would also be in grave danger of turning Red. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domino_theory

          • Number_Six

            100 points! Congrats!

          • tonyola

            Oh, cool! Thanks for pointing that out – I hadn't noticed. Do I win anything? 🙂

          • Number_Six

            Thanks for being a superb and interesting commenter. Your prize is…100 points!

          • Deartháir

            I'll give you a great big hug!

          • Woohoo! Another member of the century club. One of our best perks is we have out own line at the TSA security lines that guarantees we get groped!

  • SSurfer321

    The US Gov't sent two planes into the World Trade Center Towers 1 and 2, then used demolition explosives to bring the buildings down in their own footprint.

    But, and I'm sorry to those who lost loved ones, I'm not so naive to think that Flight 93 was brought down by the passengers.

  • PowerTryp

    Can't we all just be friends and share?

    <img src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/semicontrolled_demolition.png"&gt;

  • tonyola

    The Holocaust was faked.

    • Deartháir

      Personally, I think that is the most offensive conspiracy theory out there, and it should be perfectly legal to beat those who believe it soundly about the head and neck with a cricket bat.

      In fact, I'll write the legislation myself.

      • Add to it the people that say Santa isn't real. That's nearly as egregious.

        • Deartháir

          Agreed! To anyone who claims he's not real, I say this: if he's not real, how does he bring me presents every year, hmmm? Yeah, answer that, smart guy!

          • PowerTryp

            I've got bad new's Mr.Dearthair. Apparently there's a mass growing in you head that's been causing you to believe incorrect things for years, if you'll just look at your X-ray here you'll see it's small right now but it will only continue to get bigger.

            <img src="http://www.groovythemes.com/cartoons/homer_head_xray-med.jpg"&gt;

          • Deartháir

            Ooh, I think them's fightin' words!

          • PowerTryp

            Top 5 commenters
            1Deartháir 99p
            2Muthalovin 102p
            3engineerd 106p
            4tonyola 99p
            5P161911 97p

            Common, you know I can't compete.

          • Deartháir

            It's quantity, not quality, don't you worry.

      • name_too_long

        Wait, you mean it's not perfectly legal to beat Holocaust deniers about the head and neck with a bat?

        I…


        Uh…


        Anyone know Israel's extradition policy on something like that?

        • Deartháir

          They'll never convict. Holocaust deniers are probably the only people judges hate more than lawyers. Failing that, you can come hide out in Canada.

  • discontinuuity

    Denver International Airport is actually the Worldwide Nazi/Freemason/Illuminati/Reptiloid Shadow Government Headquarters:
    http://www.westword.com/2007-08-30/news/dia-consp

  • P161911

    The 100mpg carburetor or the car that runs on water. Both have been covered up by the oil companies.

  • tonyola

    I saw all of the Apollo launches in person. No-one's ever asked me to keep quiet or offered bribes for my silence.

    • P161911

      I have no doubt that we went to the moon 6 times. But the Apollo 18 movie does look like it might be mildly interesting in a sci-fi/alt. history/horror kind of way. I think it is sort of a Blair Witch Project in outer space.

  • tonyola

    Especially since Coke in the US had HFCS for several years before the New Coke fiasco.

  • alex

    I was living in Scotland in the late 60's. It was shortly after the first lunar landing. It had been unusually windy for several weeks, and someone wrote in to one of the newspapers claiming that the high winds was the US fault because we had punched a hole in the atmosphere with our rocket and all the wind from space was rushing in and making it windy.

  • BlackIce_GTS

    The Flat Earth Society (and the other Flat Earth Society (referenced by Tonyola).
    Related to this is an entirely plausible theory that this conspiracy is an elaborate coordinated effort of many dedicated trolls.

  • Jim-Bob

    I tend to enjoy traveling into some fairly odd places in the ‘net in order to try and sort some truth from the nonsense that is out there and one of my favorites is the FEMA camps. I am at once both inclined to believe it and not to believe it as the evidence is so contradictory. I also have been indulging in hyperinflationary theories regarding the US Dollar as of late but don’t see them as being as far-fetched as some others. It’s more about data interpretation than conspiracy. It also plays into my love of Austrian economics and disdain for the Keynesian school.

    Now if you really want to go tumbling down the rabbit hole, start reading up on the New World Order conspiracies involving the CFR, Illuminati, Freemasons, World Bank, IMF, or any of the other usual suspects in conspiratorial thought. Some also tie in the “Georgia Guide Stones” and the Rosicrucians with this as well stating that they spell out the ultimate goal of some of these secret organizations to reduce global populations to a level that is more easily managed by a small group of ruling elites. In theory, this would lead to the dissolution of private property and conversion of the world’s population to peasant serfs which could be ruled by the UN in order to keep their consumption of resources down to a manageable level in accordance with a global environmental policy (that theory comes out of actual UN documents from a proposal in some environmental wing of the UN).

  • texlenin

    But we don't have lots of water! They coulda stopped out at Europa and
    had a whole planet covered 100 km deep or more in the stuff! Never
    mind the Oort cloud, the Kuiper Belt, or the asteroid belt…
    This is why my friends don't invite me out to see movies.

-->