User Input

User Input: Dijon Ketchup

In Canada, one may notice, lottery jackpots are generally quite a bit smaller than they are in the US. This would sound like a disadvantage until you find out that the prizes are paid in full as a single payment (not an interminable annuity or a lump-sum fraction of the actual jackpot), and they are tax free. You get every damn penny. No matter what country you’re from, everyone dreams of winning the big one. Some geeks have even gone to great lengths to game the game itself.

Ask anyone what they would do, and you’ll hear a lot of the same answers I would buy a mansion/ranch/huge house/penthouse in insert-sunny-location-with-a-view and a name-of-make-and-model-of-dream-car. Whoop dee shit.

This is a blog by and for geeks, and I like to think the geeks can be a little more creative (Sir Richard Branson is trying to commercialize space flight – way to set the bar high on this one, Dick) or at least somewhat altruistic (thank you, Mark Shuttleworth).

So, geeks, you’ve got eleventy-billion dollars to blow on something geek-worthy. What is it?

[“User Input” is the AtomicToasters Question of the Day™ asking you, the teeming millions, to answer our pressing questions.]

  • An automated train-set that brings me beer. And hot dogs.

    And my very own B-17 bomber, filled with sharks wearing freaking lasers!

    [youtube x-UlMpVMHQs youtube]

  • skitter

    Two chicks at the same time.

  • P161911

    I actually fall into one of those groups that are ineligible to play the lottery, since I work in the industry. I can't even dream about striking it rich with the lottery. Now I have to figure out some other way to dream about acquiring millions.

    But if I did somehow get bazillions, I would probably have a rather large collection of fully automatic weapons, several aircraft (and get a pilots license) with maybe a few warbirds thrown in, and of course a huge and eclectic collection of cars. Heck, I might even start building my own cars if there are enough zeros in this fortune to piss away huge amounts.

    • skitter

      The car yet to be built is always the centerpiece of my collection.

    • You can still dream about striking it rich, as much as the rest of us can. According to my statistics teacher in college, the difference in the likelihood of receiving a sudden, unexpected windfall of millions of dollars between those who play the lottery regularly and those who never do is "statistically insignificant."

  • tonyola

    I would build an awesome recording/music production studio and devote most of my time to making music.
    <img src="; width=500>

    • Deartháir

      Ah, you've been to Techie's and Cardboard's houses?

  • OA5599

    Bionics for Stephen Hawking.

  • tiberiusẅisë

    I'd hire Van Halen to play my birthday party.

    [youtube SqqGFoASs9s youtube]

    Then I'd make my living room into an exact replica of the bridge on the Enterprise.

  • I'd buy a tropical island and build a secret subterranean lair where the media room would look like the bridge of NCC-1701.

    BTW: I listened to the BNL song that references "Dijon Ketchup" on the walk to work this morning.

  • Lavish salaries and ineptly supervised expense accounts for the Atomic Toasters crew.

    • And administrative assistants?

      • If that's what you want to call them on your expense account, fine by me; I already said the supervision would be inept.

  • aastrovan

    A new computer ; IBM's Watson!

  • rovingardener

    I would buy Miller Motorsports Park. Then I would go about fixing all the mistakes the inheritor screwed up. Maybe hookup some FIA GT races as well as building a big freaking automobile museum. For the museum I would charge no admission. I would see if I could build something like the Henry Ford but with racing as a focus.

    I want a wind tunnel.

    Also, probably a Boeing Business Jet. When you get to a distant town you don't need a hotel room.

  • Diamond encrusted everyting…!

    • Mr_Biggles

      Yeah screw Swarovski. You could get her to vajazzle with the real thing!

  • coupeZ600

    Weren't we going to buy that retired British aircraft carrier, build a racetrack on the deck(s), and see how many Twin-Sixes it would take to get that thing to 88mph?

    • And lets not forget the new track/resort plan…
      Add a luxury Motel/RV park along with the parts store and shop bays to rent…

  • I would buy Detroit and set up my own kingdom. That would cost like $10 and a Happy Meal. I would waste the rest of my money on buying and racing cars, planes, boats, rockets, midgets, and anything else that moves.

  • Deartháir

    I'd spend most of it on alcohol and loose women. The rest of it, I'd just waste.

    • TechieInHell

      Right, because you don't own stock in Smirnoff's yet and Mrs. Deartháir* locks you out on the patio every night.

      *yes, I know you're not really married to her, but she's a definite keeper

      • I think that, for all intents and purposes, they are married.* And I agree about the keeper part.

        *I sure hope she's not reading this. If she is, "Hi!" Oh, and, "Please don't hit me!"

  • MrHowser

    Heh, dijon ketchup.

    I'd pay off my debt, and the debt of all my immediate family and close friends.

    Aside from the obvious big garage/lots of cars/killer home entertainment room, I'd want to set up some sort of shelter/halfway house in some major metro areas for homeless people. Provide job opportunities, food, clothes, interview coaching, etc.

  • Number_Six

    Well, I'd start with a Sukhoi Su-27 and build from there:

  • Jim-Bob

    I’d build my ultimate, sustainable underground dream house on 50 acres in an agricultural zoned place in the country. It would have geothermal heating and cooling, grid connected solar electricity, a small farm to raise my own food, a huge garage with a lift and a paint booth ( again built partially into a hillside), and of course all of the requisite electronics and a killer home theater system. I would even have the septic system set up to burn waste and create biochar to use as a fertilizer. Either that or I would build a digester that would let me use the gases from decomposing waste to run a vehicle. I would also finish my engineering degree because I just want to.

    For cars, I would have a massive collection of Soviet vehicles with a Lada 2101 as my daily driver and a Lada Niva pickup as my farm truck. I’d also want to have a few Japanese Kei cars and a Hakosuka GTR. of course, I would also want to keep my collection of Geo Metros because of just how cool they are to me. I may even want to do something I thought about a few years back and collect one of each of the world’s people’s cars. in that group would of course be the Model T Ford and original Austin 7 as well as the Mini, at least one Trabant 601 ( I have a serious case of Trabi lust!), a Fiat 500, a Toyota Publica, a Hindustan Ambassador, Tata Nano, and, if I could figure out how to import it, a Pak Suzuki Cultus (1992 Geo Metro that is still made in Pakistan) and a Nissan Tsuru(91-94 Sentra). Of course, I might need a big pickup for something and for that nothing but a Kaiser M715 (or the modern Kia KM45 variant) will do. That’s pretty much it. No exotics and no luxury cars, just robust and interesting vehicles from around the globe.

  • BlackIce_GTS

    I'd keep a large and well equipped company of landscape engineers busy having them recreate (and update) my main minecraft savegame in 1:1 scale. It's only about 4km^2, so far. The 12 cubic metres of diamonds I happen to have on hand might be a problem. As might the 8.6 cubic kilometres of cobblestone.
    —-the following is less creative and more absurd—-
    I'm not sure if eleventy billion would cover it, but weird hobby #7 of mine is curating imaginary collections of stuff. The garage was at 1203 entries last time I counted. There's also an unlimited fantasy armoury, aerodrome, and marina. Some of my favourites among the last two are the subcollection of absurd ex-military yachts:
    <img src="; width=500>
    <img src="; width=500>
    I'm not saying recommissioning derelict Soviet materiel of that scale would be cheap, but convincing the US government to hand this off to a private party might be the budget breaker here:
    <img src="; width=500>
    While I'm bribing, the fantasy armoury has multiple nuclear weapons in it.

  • Mad_Hungarian

    Outside of getting me some bling (one 1958 Eldorado Brougham, please), I would use a big enough jackpot to undo a terrible mistake. I live in Savannah, GA which has one of the best preserved urban historic districts around. But in 1965, before people knew better, we lost the majestic DeSoto Hotel, replaced by a soulless tower. The objective is to acquire and rip down this:

    <img src="; ?width="500'/">

    and replace it with a perfect replica of this:

    <img src="; ?width="500'/">

  • alewifecove

    Put the family property on the coast of Maine into perpetual protection.


  • chrystlubitshi

    of course the dream garage…. but… it's gotta be underground. i don't want a traditional mansion… i have dreamed of this as long as i can remember— owning a few square miles of beautiful property with a driveway from each direction, a "traffic circle" (or 'round-a-bout' if you will) and a sub 950 sq. ft. house with a single car garage…(that cannot be seen from the edges of the property).. and 7 or 8 basements(each one of them would need to be at least 2000 square feet.), all with 1 or more hidden entry points and the bottom three or four divided in to multiple sections that can only be accessed from different vertical passages (stairs and/or elevators) from different levels and different parts of different levels…..

    and well, lots of other stuff too… but that'd be the first thing i did….

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