Please hammer, don't hurt them.
Ok boys, quit your arguing. THIS may be the first computer ever. WAIT! Don’t go. Let me explain. THIS is a hammer. (Thanks Cardboard, we didn’t know that one.) It has two modes: hit in or pull out. Computers run in binary: 1 or 0: on or off. Therefore a hammer is a computer.
As we can see, I really know nothing about computers. I do however realize how simple things can be technology at some time in the past. The simple hammer is technology at it’s finest. I don’t need to upgrade or plug it in. I don’t need to buy the latest model because mine is obsolete. This is awesome technology.
As well as being awesome technology, the hammer is culturally relevant thanks to the MC and Captain varieties.
I decided on the weekend that I needed to take down a wall in my basement. I decided that I would only use a hammer. Not only was it some serious, cheap fun but some of the best stress relief I’ve had in a long time. Go hit something!
I suppose the pointy bit on the back can be considered the equivalent of the "delete" key…
I have a big hammer.
<img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4114/4910762211_bec7dabafb.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Master Bedroom" />
The simple hammer is technology at it’s finest. I don’t need to upgrade or plug it in. I don’t need to buy the latest model because mine is obsolete. This is awesome technology.
You do, however, need to buy different hammers for different tasks. For instance, that hammer would be useless breaking up the concrete the tile in the bathroom was embedded in. For that, I needed the big hammer. The big hammer (a 7.5 lb. sledge), however, is useless for putting together furniture or pulling nails.
The hammer is, I will agree, fantastic technology. Only mildly refined over the years, simple and intuitive to use, and lasts nearly forever. Hell, I have a hammer my grandpa probably bought in the '60s and I still use it.
My computer ownership just doubled, yet, I feel the same. Is that normal?
Engineerd, I have used that hammer for everything imaginable. I actually have taken out tile (poorly laid tile, I will admit) with that hammer. I have taken apart a couch with TechieinHell with that hammer (although we eventually gave up and used a reciprocating saw…. awesome!). It's a workhorse.
Do you not have the big "Reply" button underneath each comment? If you click on that, it nests your comment and sends a notification to the commenter that someone has responded.
If it's not there, let me know, I'll see if I can fix it. If it is, remind me to beat you for not paying attention to it.
Oooohhh… Press da button… got it.
(stupid internet boss always breathing down my neck. "We'll get you proper training and it'll be swell" he said. No training yet. And who uses swell? If I actually hated this or my boss… I'd leave)
I gave you PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE training. I sent you a login and password, and told you to "push buttons until something works". How much more training do you need? I'm not here to hold your hand!
He's always coming to my cubicle with his coffee mug and saying things like, "Um, yeah, we're going to have to move you to the basement." I've been moved 3 times in.the last 2 weeks!
As long as he doesn't take my stapler we're good.
So we now need an article about reciprocating saws and staplers…
… and as long as he doesn't bug you for those damn TPS reports.
While we're on the topic. Did you get that memo? About the cover sheets?
Yeah, about that. We've switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler now, so I'm going to need you to just go ahead and give that to me. That'd be great.
Oh, and I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday. We lost a few people, so we've got a little "catching up" to do. Actually, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too. That'd be great. Mmmkay?
I am totally burning this place down.
"Go hit something." You got woods near your house? I stumbled on a swell website called Machete Specialists. They've got cane cutter machetes; I've been looking in hardware stores for years for one of those, can't wait till it arrives! Anyway, concerning hammers, I'm kinda pissed about this one hammer at work. I usually use a 2-pound short-handle sledge hammer ("sluggo") to drive hubs (2×2 pointed survey stakes). Three or four months ago I was working out of another guy's truck and I grabbed his short-handle sledge. The damned thing had a 4-pound head on it though, and I was wailing away with it like it was a 2-pounder, and in no time I totally wracked my right elbow, and the bastard still hurts. Less that last month though; I think it's healing. For a while there I couldn't lift a cup of coffee one-handed without gasping in pain.
1) Always use the right tool for the job.
2) The right tool is always a hammer.
3) Any tool can be used as a hammer.
I want that on a poster beside my desk.
Even nature agrees…
<img src="http://library.thinkquest.org/08aug/01316/Images/hammerhead-shark-2.jpg">
A big enough hammer can fix damn near ANYTHING.
<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs168.snc3/19538_1306132297945_1369652107_850413_4503709_n.jpg">